Thursday, 18 February 2010

the hardest thing about fatherhood (so far)

Nappy changing - easy. Keeping on top of the growing piles of washing up and laundry - can do it in my sleep (which is just as well, as that is often when it gets done). Carrying baby daughter in sling - no probs. Dealing with Spanish bureaucracy - I'm practically a professional.

No, the hardest thing about being a Dad, thus far, is being left with Rosie while Kate is in the shower. Invariably Kate only manages to get a shower after feeding Rosie and expressing milk, which usually only leaves 30 minutes until the next feed. I don't begrudge Kate this time at all, in fact I wish I could give her more personal time, but nonetheless I spend those 30 minutes praying for her to hurry up and hoping Rosie wont cry.

When she does cry it's heartbreaking for me. There's nothing I can do. I don't have breasts and because of the whole nipple/teat confusion, bottle feeding is now banned. If Rosie wakes up crying with hunger I have no solution for her. Soothing, cuddling, nappy changing, rocking, singing,philosophical debate, music, full on circus troop with bells on - nothing distracts her from her hunger. It kills me that all I can do is wait for Kate.

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