Friday 30 December 2011

Driving around for Christmas - by Theo

I had had the silly idea that, since we'd moved back to the UK, spending holidays driving round the South West visiting family were a thing of the past. What a foolish notion.

Deciding that GKK (our clio) wasn't up to it, my parents kindly lent us their BMW (after we'd driven to their house for the Yuletide festivities) for our visit to Cornwall. Rosie had a splendid time on Christmas Day, with many of her favourite people (and cat) being there.

Despite all the driving and the disturbed nights (even when Rosie doesn't wake up, she's such a fidgety sleeper that we invariably do), it was wonderful to see everyone. We'd spent the night with my parents - Cathy, Kate's mum had joined us too - then headed back to Bristol on Boxing Day for a party at Pete and Ems' place. Rosie spent much of it delightedly spinning round in their office chair or falling backwards off their sofa onto a pile of cushions. Then, on the 27th, we dropped Cathy off at the airport and headed down to Penwith to stay with Becky (Kate's sister), her husband Dan and their tribe of four children - or, as Rosie calls them, 'the cousins'!


Rosie was in her element - a house full of books and toys, a big garden to run around in, and four doting older playmates. I even got to relax a bit and read a few books!
Day trips out to Kate's dad and grandparents in Falmouth, and to friends in St. Ives (Jon and Sarah) were also on the itinerary, and on the way back, through fog and rain, a stop with the Presswells in Devon. Again Rosie was having a fab time with her cousins there, but the presence of a puppy (Mylo) made her a bit nervous and was why we weren't staying for too long.

It was, as usual, a lovely trip, especially for Rosie who revelled in seeing everyone. But goodness did it feel good to get home!

Thursday 29 December 2011

A heartfelt thank you to Laura Veirs by Kate

One of the things I had been dreading when it came to parenting was that music category known as Children's Songs. Even before Rosie's advent, I had already heard too many brittle ditties with sickly, high-pitched vocals laid over the kind of artificial synthesiser arrangements a self-respecting Kraftwerk-lover would rightly eschew with contempt. Or indeed any self-respecting music-lover. Some of the tunes from Disney cartoon musicals pass muster (I will happily listen to The Jungle Book OST on repeat) but otherwise there are far too many that I believe are given second-class musical treatment simply because the songs are aimed at children. It's both cynical and patronising, in my view. Not to mention exquisite torture to long-suffering parents who are forced to listen to the horrible things over and over every time they get in the car with their pint-sized offspring.

So when I heard Laura Veirs' arrangement of Jump Down Spin Around played on BBC 6Music, I was immediately interested to hear that it came from an entire collection by Veirs aimed at children (inspired by her own experience of new motherhood).

I'm not ashamed to say there was a high degree of self-interest in our decision to buy the CD for Rosie as a Christmas present. Anyone with small children knows if they like something, they will want it repeated ad nauseam. And ad infinitum. I was determined to find something Theo and I could bear to listen to on repeat as well.

And I'm pleased to say Tumble Bee by Laura Veirs absolutely fits the bill. Theo and I are totally charmed by the folksy arrangements of (largely) American traditional children's songs. But what would Rosie think?

She was immediately intrigued by the cover art and the little booklet that came inside the CD, so that was a good start. Then we put the CD on and held our breath as Rosie listened to the first track. There was a infinitesimal pause after it ended, then Rosie shouted; "Again! Again!"

We breathed out.

In fact, Rosie called for an encore on every track played and happily danced to Tumble Bee and bounced in time on her new trampoline (another Christmas present) for the rest of the afternoon.

She has since settled on Why, Oh Why? as her favourite track from Tumble Bee, but that's okay. Because we like it too. A lot.

Saturday 24 December 2011

Christmas come early - by Theo

Tomorrow we're heading to Cirencester for Christmas Day with my parents - Kate's mum is also joining us - and we're hoping to get away reasonably early. Realising that presenting Rosie with a full stocking from Santa, then demanding she abandon her new (or newish - Santa's big on second hand) possessions to get into the car for an hour was just begging for a tantrum. So we decided to go all European and arrange for Saint Nick to come a day early, after Rosie's nap.

Rosie woke up from her nap a good 40 minutes earlier than usual, catching us a bit unawares (Santa hadn't even begun putting Daddy's stocking out), and the sight of a big pile of brown paper parcels outside her door freaked her out a bit.

When she finally calmed down, she became engrossed by the first present she unwrapped - a squeezed ball-globe - to the extent that she didn't unwrap another for a good half-hour and barely went on her new (£3.20 on eBay) trampoline except to retrieve said ball.

That soon changed when she discovered the joy of chocolate money, and then the hunt was on to find more. Luckily, as there wasn't any, she was soon engrossed by some new books. Predictably, and rather depressingly, the four Spanish books weren't as popular as the single English one - a 'Little Princess' title.

As Mummy's mango bodycream threatened to become a point of contention (Rosie wanted to open it and, probably, eat it - "I like mango!"), we wheeled in the big package which grabbed her attention. "It's Thomas!"

I think she's going to be hugely disappointed when she discovers that it's merely "a" Thomas. Still, plenty of fun to be had in the meantime.

Friday 23 December 2011

The return of Club Choke - by Theo

Club Choke holds a special place in our hearts for, although it had ceased to exist as a monthly event by the time we met, it was through the club's message boards that we commenced our friendship and flirtation. So when we heard that Club Choke would be resurrected for its 10th anniversary we immediately signed up before we'd even seen the line up - but what a line up!

Thanks to my sister Hermione and her husband Richard agreeing to babysit (despite a triple booking) we made it to The Croft on time, where we ran into a veritable who's who in the Bristol music scene from the past 10 years. Many of them were old friends who we hadn't seen since we'd got back from Spain, so we almost wanted there to be more time between bands to chat and catch up. As it was, in order to fit an incredible 8 bands into the evening, there were two stages running in synch, meaning no break between bands.
Anta kicked off the evening with one long, almost seamless piece of tight-to-the-groove prog. Awesome, even if the gong was (intentionally?) hilarious.


Then it was a dash back through the Croft to the (relatively) new front room for the ultimate Choke band - Big Joan - who were as brilliant as ever with fat, scratchy bass and a captivating front woman. Playing mostly tracks from their ace new album, they did wheel out one old favourite, Tiger, which was great to hear.

The one non-local band, Actionbeat, followed back in the main room. We stuck it for a bit, but the pretentious vocals were bugging Kate and the squally guitars were irritating me: after two bands who had had such emphatic rhythms, I wanted something with a groove, and despite having two drummers Actionbeat didn't.

The very enjoyable Glis Glis were next, but by then we were starting to flag - sometimes you need a break between bands - and we're not used to standing up so much these days!

We got our wind back for the main event though, the legendary Madnomad. They'd stopped playing just as I got into the local scene, so had never seen them (despite knowing all the members), though their reputation had set the bar high. They cleared it. Despite nearly a decade away from the stage (as Madnomad) they'd lost none of their stage presence and had us all bouncing along merrily, though the general lack of participation in the masked mosh pit at the end perhaps showed everyone's age - ours included.


Sadly, we didn't have enough stamina to make it through the following three acts - SJ Esau, War Against Sleep and Geisha - all bands we've seen and enjoyed many a time, and we had babysitters to relieve, so we called it a night there. But what a great way to finish...

Monday 19 December 2011

Our Little Princess? by Theo

The other day somebody commented on our blog that we shouldn't think too hard about parenting and just let things happen naturally. We kind of agreed and disagreed at the same time: parenting is hugely important and we think it is worth thinking about how you go about being a parent. But, in case we come across as manic 'must-stick-to-a-prescriptive-parenting-style' dictators, here's a little example of how our darling daughter constantly derails us....

Neither Kate nor I are big fans of Princesses. There are lots of reasons for this. While neither of us have exactly the same views, collectively we're not fond of:
  • the association of girls (and boys) with certain colours and clothing styles which the whole Princess syndrome helps disseminate and reinforce;
  • the Princesses in traditional fairytales are all ridiculously meek and mild characters, constantly waiting to be rescued, whose stories always end when they get married (as if a woman ceased to be of interest on becoming a wife). We'd rather a daughter who was more self-reliant and independent thanks very much*;
  • the idea of owing your status in society to your parents and/or husband, rather than your own merits, isn't really the message we'd like our little girl to grow up with.
So we'd resolved not to get Rosie books and clothes that gave out the idea that little girls should be pretty, quiet, well dressed and delicate in order to be valued. Frankly I'd be happy if Rosie never saw a Disney film in her life, but that's practically impossible. But at least we thought we'd be able to put it off until Rosie had the language skills for us to discuss the ideas with her.

Then a very kind friend of ours donated some of her daughter's old books to us. The collection include three books from Tony Ross's 'The Little Princess' series. Despite our initial intention to take them along to the charity shop they swiftly became firm favourites with Rosie.

We relented. And despite us still not being fans of Princess books, there's a fourth 'The Little Princess' book wrapped up and waiting for Rosie under our Christmas Tree.

*Sure the Paper-bag Princess is a good example of a self-reliant Princess. But I think the story would be even better if she wasn't a Princess at all.

Sunday 18 December 2011

M-Shed - by Theo

After a rather disastrous park trip this morning - Rosie wanted to be carried the whole way and didn't want to go on anything when she got there - we decided some indoor exercise for our tiny toddler was in order. So we bundled ourselves into Granny's Go Kart, picked up Aunty Hermione in Clifton, and headed to the M-shed on Princess Wharf.The huge ex-warehouse, which used to house the Industrial Museum, is now a free Museum of Bristol past and present (in fact several of the exhibits are left over from the Industrial Museum days). We've been there with Rosie before, with varying degrees of success - Rosie can become quite fixated on an object and will refuse to be torn away from it for ages. That's fine when the object in question is an old Anderson shelter that she can just walk into, but when it's one of the many keyboard/screen interactive activities around the museum it's a different question. They just aren't quite at Rosie height, meaning one of her devoted slaves... sorry, parents, has to hold her up, which gets tiring pretty quickly.

Much more entertaining for us was the dress up section, where visitors could try on police and fire fighter outfits. Rosie kept putting the helmets on back to front, and often ended up looking like an extra from Stars Wars. With only one minor tantrum (after we stopped her from scratching at a Beryl Cook original) we managed to extricate Rosie from keyboards, through the 'magic' doors and home for tea.
M-shed: highly recommended, especially if you have a toddler to exercise.

Saturday 17 December 2011

End of Term - by Theo

Yesterday was our last day of term at the university, with many schools in the Bristol LEA having already finished for the Christmas holidays. We had tea and cake and a fairly relaxed program of feedback on the course so far, tips on behaviour management and advice on job applications. Yep, we may still have 6 months of the course to go, but we're already thinking about, and being advised on, job hunting.

Thinking back over the course, as we had to do yesterday, made me realise how much I've been enjoying being a student again. Yes, I've enjoyed the actual teaching too, and I'm really looking forward to my placement in the spring term when I'll have a 2/3rds timetable and only two days at university. But the lectures and the learning has been absolutely fascinating, while the reading we've been asked to do as research for assignments has (in most cases) been a pleasure rather than a chore, even if at times I've wondered when exactly I'd find time to fit it all in. The pace has been unrelenting - there has always been something I should be doing - even over the Christmas break we've an assignment to finish off and lessons to plan for the first week back. Yet it's been a great experience so far, and I'm going to miss the university side of things while on placement in the spring term. At the back of my mind I'm already wondering whether at some point down the line I may want to return to Bristol Uni once more...

Thursday 15 December 2011

Missing Madrid - by Theo

For the first time since we moved back from Madrid at the very end of June I find myself missing the city itself. Our friends there and the free-time we had have long been missed, but as Christmas nears I'm missing some of the great things about winter in Spain's capital.

Some things I miss are quite boringly mundane - like the cheap, regular and heated buses that I used to take to work. There's nothing like getting caught in a storm of hail while cycling to make you yearn for the days when we had a decent and affordable public transport system on our doorstep. I also miss living in a flat and benefiting from the heating of the surrounding flats, especially now we're in an end of terrace house and seem to be fighting an endless battle against mould. Other things are more romantic.

I miss the mornings. Crisp and cold, with temperatures often well below freezing, but usually dry and sunny, they were times to enjoy a frosty stroll through the park with Rosie wrapped up in her pram. It did snow mind you the three winters we were there, but the city was kitted out for it - it functioned, rather than ground to a halt.


I miss the street-corner kiosks selling roasted chestnuts. I never bought any, but they smelt good and I liked the fact they were there!

I miss the Christmas lights, both the big bold ones along Gran Via and Calle Alcala, and the more parochial efforts on Jose del Hierro in our barrio. Oh sure, there's Christmas lights in the UK, but none near us it seems.

I miss the little markets that would spring up in random squares, selling tacky Christmas decorations, beautiful wooden toys and warm woolies.

I miss the Christmas sweets. Spaniards as a rule have a special pastry for every conceivable occasion and Navidad was no exception - roscon, polverones - with fabulous traditions surrounding their consummation.

Mostly though, I miss the fact that all though it was usually very cold in Madrid during winter, at least it was dry. Unlike this windy, soggy city we're in now. When I got to lectures on Tuesday I had to change my clothes completely and hang them up at the back of the lecture hall to dry.

Friday 9 December 2011

Christmas Tree - by Theo

Our Christmas Tree (£10 from Sainsburies) is up; I like the fact that it's a Serbian Spruce, but grown in Germany. We had wanted to get a really big one, but some posh prat in London pipped us to it. Decorated with some tinsel and baubles (£2.00 from a charity shop), some lights we brought back from Spain and some recycled wrapping paper.

That's our Christmas decorations budget spent.

Monday 5 December 2011

What am I learning, what am I teaching...? By Kate

When you make a cock up, ask yourself, "What did I learn from that?"

Somebody far wiser than I suggests this as a more constructive way to deal with own-goals than guilt-ridden self-flagellation. It makes a lot of sense. It's a way of accepting that we all make mistakes and those mistakes can actually be useful opportunities to grow as a human being.

As first time parents, we make a lot of mistakes. After all, it's a huge, new, intricate area of human relationships we're navigating. No one gets it right first time. Which is bad luck for Rosie. A friend of mine put it this way: "Your first child is the practice one."

It's just as well Rosie doesn't require us to be perfect. Good enough will do fine for her, luckily. Although I expect we'll come in for a bit of a hammering for certain things she reckons we did or didn't do when she hits her teenage years and early adulthood. That seems to be par for the course.

So we're learning all the time. And so is Rosie. How to use and understand her body, how to talk, how to socialise with other people, how she fits in with the world....and that's before she starts on things like reading, writing, arithmetic, sport, music etc. etc.
The sobering thought is that as her parents, we are Rosie's Number One teachers. She learns the nuances of handling human relationships by observing and mimicking Theo and I primarily. There's nothing like that knowledge for putting your own behaviour in the spotlight.

Every day I find I'm asking myself, "What are we teaching Rosie in this situation?" For example, if Rosie refuses to touch the food we have given her and instead insists on something different, our acquiescence to that request would teach her that she doesn't need to make an effort with unfamiliar or less-favoured foods as she can rely on getting an alternative.

If Rosie throws a wobbler about something we regard as important (having her teeth brushed, for example) if we were to give up on what we were doing, we would be teaching Rosie that tantrums are a good tool for getting what she wants (or stopping something she doesn't). A recipe for more tantrums, in other words.

That doesn't mean we should ride roughshod over all Rosie's personal preferences. She might be tiny, but she's still a human being and deserves to have her opinion heard. So we try and offer her choices - okay, the choices are limited to outcomes we find acceptable, but at least she's being offered some toddler-sized autonomy. "Rosie climb in the buggy, or Mummy put you in the buggy?" is one we often have just before she settles into her pushchair for her lunchtime nap. (The answer is almost always, "Rosie do it!")


And one more piece of sage parenting advice I'm coming to fully appreciate: "Pick your battles." Some things just aren't worth a fight. Whether or not Rosie wears her slippers indoors really doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things. If she doesn't, her feet may be a bit colder than otherwise, but it's no big deal. On the other hand, if she doesn't allow us to help her clean her teeth, there's a very real risk of tooth decay, so that one is non-negotiable.

Navigating life with a feisty toddler is a huge learning experience, that's for sure. For all of us.

Sunday 4 December 2011

the most collectible book in the world? by Theo

Searching for suitable Christmas presents for Rosie I found several version of Maisy Mouse in Spanish, including Los Mejores Amigos de Maisy.

A bargain at a mere £243.33.

Yep, you read that right. £243.33 (I love how it's so precise!) for a translation of a children's book. It wasn't the only one; Juan y Tolola (that's Charlie and Lola) for £200.52. What's going on? Either some computer's algorithms have gone haywire, or these are clearly the most collectible works of fiction in the world: forget first editions of Tolstoy, these are the real deal!